I am an insomniac. I no longer sleep like I used to. My body and my mind are constantly at war. There are many things that ingulf my thoughts, my ability to rest. I am going to use the time I lay in bed to relay my thoughts to you. Starting, Now.

What I wake up to every morning.

"Not all who wander are lost."

A month full of Grads and Dads

I GRADUATED! Mama, I'm a graduate! heheh so Yeah... I guess you heard that I graduated. June 9, 2012 I walked the stage and received my diploma (cover). Exciting stuff! I haven't written cause I've been busy, and that's the complete truth, I genuinely have, but also I'm lazy sometimes. I'm wearing my cap right now... honest. Ahh! I forgot, my grad present? A beautiful MacBook Pro from my parents. I can't believe it, my very own computer. Eeee! I'll be writing more now that I actually have a real computer with all my shit... I mean stuff... on it. But most of all I wanted to say thank you in this note. This is to all the people that made graduation possible for me. That's my mom, my dad and my sister. Not to mention my incredibly supportive cousin Deanna and aunt and uncle. My grandparents as well. I wouldn't be half the woman I am today without all these fabulously fabulous people in my life. I'm going to refrain from getting too sappy on you but I wanted to express my thanks in the way I know best. To write it. This also goes to my teachers who were also incredibly supportive. This means you, Stapes. My yearbook adviser and senior year English teacher. Thank you, I hope you liked the two ton dictionary. These people have supported me and watched me blossom from an awkward teen to a young woman. Thank you all!

I truly believe this.

Never regret anything because at one point it was exactly what you wanted.

Nothing is the same.

I don't have much to say anymore.
I used to write a lot of poetry, or at least post those little poems I wrote on here, but I haven't written in a very long while.
What to do, what to do.
It summer and I feel like I haven't accomplished anything, I wish I had.
I didn't do well on my AP exam.
My sister is studying in Cambridge.
I can't keep anything but a cactus alive.
My beloved dog Riley no longer barks at everything I do.
I wake up and he's no longer there laying next to me.
My best friend, Ingrid moved back to Norway.
I can't write and my photographs are lacking.
Nothing is the same anymore.

These are my friends.

They are all absolutely beautiful.

Playing Solitaire

*This was a draft from august of 2010*



It's strange how things come and go at times. People and things. My good friend lost his dad a few months ago. Just this weekend his mother passed away as well. Both of his parents were fighting cancer. He was fighting for his parents. A few weeks ago I lost my Uncle to cancer. I never thought it would happen to him. He is one of the strongest, most thoughtful people I know. He gave so much to so many people through the rotary club and to his family. He was the only brother my mother had. My grandpa passed away a few years ago. That was hard on my mom. Her world won't ever be the same without either of them, but somehow she finds the strength in every day to keep moving forward; that is what they would want her to do. Life can get tricky, you're dealt cards and it's up to you to make it work. When everything works out, they dance across the screen, but in the same minute, are gone.

Obsessed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FZvYLI_MI8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

The last

That last post wasn't really short, but whatever.
My eyelids are beginning to feel heavy. I hope Dara or Will wakes up before me tomorrow.
I'm going to miss them this coming week. Will's going to St. Lucia, Dara's going to Cross Country camp.
I hope they both have safe travels.
All right I'm dying.
Sleep now. More later.

Last December

I only posted surveys.
That's incredibly sad.

I love them though. This is y blog to vent. I think I'm addicted to them.
I'll do one. Just one.
And I'll make it short.

this morning i was: Tired, but content when I woke up.
im afraid of: Not knowing what I want to do when I grow up.
i dream about: Everything. They're incredibly twisted and weird.

have you ever...
pictured your crush naked? Uh, sure?
been in love? I am.
cried when someone died? Of course.
lied? Yes.
flowers or candy? FLOWERS

with the opposite sex...
scruff or clean shaven? Mmmm, I like both, on Will, a little scruff looks nice.
tall or short? Tall.
what do you notice first? Eyes. Face. Hahah.
last person you slow danced with? Will at prom.
worst question to ask? uhh, do I look fat in this? I don't know?

who...
makes you laugh the most? William Eaton.
makes you smile? Will.
gives you a funny feeling when you see them? Will.
is easier talk to: boys or girls? Girls I guess.

do you ever...
sit on the internet waiting for someone special to IM you? Ahahah, no.
save AIM conversations? I have in the past.
wish you were a member of the opposite sex? Uh, no thanks.
cry because of something someone has said? Yesyesyes.
pray? I have.

have you ever...
fallen for your best friend? I am currently in love with my best friend.
rejected someone? Well, yes.
cheated on someone? I would never.
been cheated on? Yeahp.
done something you regretted? I don't like to regret things.
wanted to die? I've felt like it.

who was the last person...
you talked to on the phone? Dara!
hugged? Will.
you instant messaged? I don't remember the last time I used AIM. But I FB chatted with D. Freds the other day.
you laughed with? Daraaaaa

do you...
color your hair? Nonono.
ever get off the computer? hahah, no.
habla espanol? Yes!
sprechen sie deutsches? Nooo.
fight with your parents? No! We have a wonderful relationship.
have friends you've lost touch with? Unfortunately.
feel happy? All the time.
wish you could fly away.. far, far away? Yeah, sure, sometimes.
believe in God? Ahh, we've discussed this.

could you live without the computer? I could but I don't really want to.
what's your favorite candy? Skittles? Twix? Whatever I'm in the mood for really.
whats your favorite fruit? Mangooooo.
sunrise or sunset? Sunset.
what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain? Both, in different ways.
trust others way too easily? Yeah, I do.
are your fingers cold? Nooooo.
coke or pepsi? Neither, thanks.

I want: a new car?
I wish: I was with Will right now.
I love: William Seth Eaton.
I miss: my beloved dog, Riley.
I fear: all the time.
I hear: the fish tank behind me.
I smell: Clean, fresh air.