Two Days ago.

It was My Fathers Birthday!
So, heres to you dad.

I love you more than you know.

Have a ball!

So the song goes.

FDR once said that the only thing to fear was fear itself. Rodney King asked if we all could get along and now we have The Killers asking, 'are we human, or are we dancers?' The answer, it's all up to you. Hunter S. Thompson is very quotable, I have to say. His words have been circling my head for many days now. He came up with the quote in the first place. I am extremely tired though, and I have a few more things to do before I actually put the computer down. I will write more later. Of course, but then again, Im only human, right?

There is something

in the air.


Life lately is grim, no one cares about anything anymore. There is little love. And teachers have given up, alongside family. I wish I could say everthing was pleasent, that there were people to talk to..who understood. Science, and Lunch, their probibly the only ones I look forward too. Health is nice, It's quiet so no one bothers me. Im In Fashion, poor Mr. Austin, he has no idea how much he gets under my skin.

Later.

Dearest Kris.

Kris Marceano, he was a friend of many, and even though I didnt know him personally, his death has affected me. I am terribly sorry to those suffering. You were important to many people, and you would surely have been an amazing person as you grew older and matured. I send my sympathy.

Cheeky, cheeky.

I dont understand how rude people can be. Its like a disease, they no longer have any respect for anyone. I've been called everyname in the book, I guess thats fine with me, I honestly dont care, but what gets me is why you would do that, in turn, to yourself. The world has become something that Im not personally proud of. And now im being pulled out to do a worksheet. Shows you how much time I have to myself....More later.

Dresses I die for.

Migraine

Another day? yes.

Yesterday I had the worst headache in the world. I trudged my way through school and crashed when I got home. I hate to admit it but I bawled my eyes out. I took a couple Advil and went to bed at 8:30. I dont think I've ever gone to bed that early. Mr. Austin is lecturing again.

Write more later, of course.

Seven years and One day.

Its been 7 years and one day since the 9-11 attacks.
It scares me. I was 7 years old when it happened. I remeber telling my dad that the government shouldnt be mad at the planes because they probibly lost conrtol of the planes. I didnt know any better.
To those who died and their loved ones, I am terribly sorry.

Live well.

Mother, Mother.

Happy birthday mother!







It's your day, go out & celebrate!
I love you more than anything, and I'll see you late today.
-Your loving daughter.

Reverie

The condition of being so lost in solitary thought as to be unaware of one's surroundings.


I have been getting trapped lately, reverie, reverie, reverie when will it stop.
Im in class right now, and it wont go away. I vistied my favorie website in the world today, what a refresher. Rob Dobi is the man, no lie. My class really isnt that bad, Fashion Merchandising. I am supposed to be working on this slideshow right now, but I really don't care, I can finish it later. Today is friday, thankgod. I need the break. I havent gotten more than five hours of sleep this week or last, it kinda sucks. At least I can listen to my iPod at school, it is actually quite nice. Lufkin was kinda stupid. We couldnt wear anything other than turtle necks and floor-length skirts. I am joking of course, but still, get real people. Apex is wayy better. I think Im getting used to this. Reverie, reverie, reverie. Getting trapped again, but hell, it is fun to type.

A summer to remember.

Im offically back from my trip to Mexico. I miss everyone there so much. I told them, it truly is my second family. I cant believe how fast it went by, I guess its true, the more fun you have the faster it goes by. This was the best trip ive ever taken, by far. If I have learned anything on my journey it was to never hold back and live life with open arms. Two hundred seventy-one pictures, Four cities, Twenty-five total hours of driving, and One summer love. Ive never cried more than I did on my way to the airport. I had more laughs and more memories than ever before. I love everyone there, I miss it like crazy. In conclusin, I have to say thank you to those who made it possible. Mom & dad, Alenka, Eric, Mami Ely, Little Eric, Andres, Loriena, Louis, Deanna, Monika, Andrea, Little Monika, Victor, Diego, Tede, Raymundo, Pablo, and Little Raymundo.

You all mean the world to me.
Te quiero mucho.

I forgot to mention

the other night I had a dream.
It was very real, like nothing else. Something happened and I was terribly sad. I hugged someone and when they hugged me back I felt something. They held me tight, and they meant it. I didnt see who it was but I hope I find out. I couldnt manage waking up because it was so comforting. I dont know if It was someone I knew, or if it was just some guy in my dreams, but I guess Ill figure it out eventually. In the meantime, Ill be gladly think of him.

I suck

at keeping up with blogs.
Ive been to Ixtapa & Acapulco already and I have to say it was much fun. Im tanner than the last time I wrote, most deffinetly. I finished my 500 page book in 2 days. Very proud. Also, my hair is in small braids, crazy itchy, but I plan on keeping it in till I get home. 1 more week here, then I get to sleep in my own bed, speak the language I am best at, and chow down on some good ole American food. I cant wait. Mexico is more like an experience to me. It is great and all but 3 weeks here and I think Im about to burst into a million pieces. I have been writing in my journal everyday, so Ill deffinetly remember every little thing. On August 9th, I am getting up around 3:30 to leave for Charlotte where My mom or dad is picking me up to drive home. I cant wait. I said Id keep you updated, but I failed at that, so Im not going to promise it again.

Day 1-2

Im in Mexico as a lot of you know. I have not been able to write because for some reason my computer at home will not let me sign on. Anyway, Today is my second day in Mexico, yesterday I got here after a long plane ride. Yesterday me, Andres, Little Eric, and a few neighbor kids went to Starbucks and chit chatted for a while. It was quite nice. After our Mocha coffee we went to play a game like volleyball only you use your feet to get the ball over the net. I was not very good at this but had a lot of fun none the less. After dinner we watched a movie & I wrote a whopping 4 pages in my Diary. I am very proud. Tomorrow (manyana) we are going to Ixtapa, a small town by the water on the Pacific side. After a week of laying around were going to Alcupulco (most deffinetly spelled wrong) to lay around some more. I will keep you updated on whats going on. E-mail me to keep in touch. Hugs & kisses!

Old Poem.

Let us be seated
in the light of the moon
till the stars vanish into the brilliant sun.

Let us imagine
with absolutly no limitations but the ones we set for ourselves
to daydream extensively.

Let us converse
like when we were mere adolecents like an unscripted play
uttering anything that came to mind.

Let us gape
through their eyes
and through the eyes of he who has seen more than we can concieve

Let us watch
as our entire world together
comes crashing down like a bomb holding by a thread of gravity, still there.

Let us convulse
and remember the past
with all the charred bridges to leave behind, start anew.

Let us perform
on the stage of society
as the young want to be us, and the grown ups thank us.

Let us be
the future knowing not what to become
as a small thoughtful gift waiting to be unfurled.

To: The Trees.

This morning I woke up to the beautiful sun shining through my windows. My sister was long gone on her way to Bonaroo, I only wish I could go. Im going to the beach tomorrow, thankgod. I have a lot to sort out in my head, the long drive might help clear things up. I have been going outside a lot lately, the fresh air makes it a lot easier to think. I can imagine anything while im out there. When Im laying in the grass it makes me feel better, the trees, the clouds, the leaves can never judge me, they understand. Mother nature will listen, and i know, they wont tell a soul either.

Philosophy Zipper

Poroma,

Eventually you'll read this, all I wanted to say is that I'm going to miss you like crazy. From Kindergarden through 8th grade, i've known you forever. You taught me a lot over those years. 6th grade Social Studies class with Ms. Jennings was the shit. Even when I was a little dork who had absolutly no social skills you still managed to say hi. Ever since that day in S.S. I have beenable to call you a great friend. Now that your leaving I am beyond sad. I know you'll make a hundred friends, and i would list all of our insiders but there is a limit to how many charecteristics there can be. We'll deffinetly keep in touch. Love you, kidd.

-Andrea

Shush.

A secret, something you choose to keep hidden. Beneath the smile, laughter, happiness, can be the biggest secret. I choose to keep mine to myself. No telling a soul. I broke my promise, and I told. It was terrible, but to the one I told my secret to, thank you. I am absolutly certin that you will not tell anyone, and that's the biggest favor anyone could ever do for me. Most people I would tell would be shocked, others would look at me in a different light. But you, you have seen me when no one else has, thank you. You listend and i know, my secret is safe with you.

I love you.

I love you.
You mean the world to me.
I can't describe how much you mean to me.
I can tell you anything.
Your secrets are safe with me.
I adore you.
Your more than I could ever ask for.
Your perfect.
I feel safe when I'm with you.
My hearts beats faster when I see you.
I can't take my eyes off of you.
Your like a warm blanket comforting me in anything.
My love, it's a shame,




You don't exist.

Old San Juan.

Picture credit: Andrea Metivier

Little black box.

I haven't written in ages, and it's quite alright with everything that goes on in this crazy ass world of ours. My box has been filling up, rapidly. Everything has been changing, OH! how i hate it. I have no idea what is going on anymore. I can't cheat myself out of being young, but it's almost to much to handle. My box is telling me to slow down, and remember to breath. The items in my box are of great significance, old tickets, torn up notes, faded pictures, they all mean the world to me. I don't think i could ever love anyone or anything more than that box. The little black box that sits in the back of my closet has secrets. The little black box in the back of my closet is filled to the brim with stories. The little black box in the back of my closet is my life.

Diversification now.

Sometimes im confronted with situations to grand for my being. I won't understand their purpose. Im to young or juvinile to comprehend what they are trying to tell me. I am not. I apprehend well beyond my years. The girls who tend to appreciate more are the ones a little more off beat, or mabye it's just the way we carry ourselves. We DON'T do what people want us to and we don't follow crowds, I guess it's just not our thing.

Forever plus a day was the time I began the pursuit to unearth who I am, as a person and as an adolecent. I quickly found out I was at odds with the people around me. When wearing skirts and frilly tops was the drift I began to attire baggy pants and loose fitting tee shirts. I was the happiest I had been in a long time.

Middle school, It changes everything. From who you are at your root and core to the leaf at the tallest branch. I soon transtitioned into somone who I was not. I was at the lowest point in my life.

To this day I regret giving into the pressure. Now though, I have modified who i am for the better. No more mainstreem. I am whoever I want to become, and as of this far Im content in not knowing who that is.

Cheater, cheater

I'm not one to cheat my life, live a lie. I do know though that people make mistakes, they don't understand where they come from and that in all is one of the most important things. Before you know where you are headed you have to know where you come from. Understanding your past before you move on to your future, it's that simple and that complicated at the same time. I know who I am, I only don't understand who I'm going to become. Sometimes i ask myself for someone elses help, but I can't cheat. So I don't I might be a bit profound for a fourteen-year-old and I might be superficial. I dont really know yet.